Geezer Back Door Draft

Based on a true story:

Selective Service (referred to as SS hereafter, an appropriate designation): Sir, we've written you several times, sent you emails and called you on the phone, but you have failed to report for duty.
Respondent (R): But I'm 103 years old and in a wheel chair at a rest home. What could I do?

SS: You were a medic in World War I, right?
R: I think so, but my memory is not so good now.
SS: That's OK, the warm weather will be good for you.
R: Warm weather?
SS: Yeah, Afghanistan.
R: Is that somewhere in Florida? I used to go to Florida every year.
SS: Not exactly, but your president needs you now.
R: FDR? I'm glad he's still in charge. OK, I'm still pretty good with bedpans - at least my own anyway. What do I do next?
SS: Don't worry, we will take care of everything. Democracy is on the march.
R: It is? Where is it marching to???