Monday, January 17, 2005

Another Admission by the White House…

…No, not WMDs – we already know about that one. Our reporter (OR) was on the scene once more to catch this exclusive from a hastily called news conference this morning by the press secretary (SM):

SM: This will be a short news conference to make another important announcement. The president has concluded, after considering all the evidence, that the earth is probably not flat.

OR: …but, but we’ve all known that for at least 500 years...
SM:…and I should point out that we still might find such evidence. It’s just that it has been well hidden, or moved, or it may be that we don’t have the technology to find it yet.

OR: Do you mean to say that you are confident you may still find this evidence – that the earth is flat?
SM: Of course, just look at the crop circles.
OR: Crop circles???
SM: Yes. It’s like hieroglyphics. Someday we’ll figure out why aliens moved or hid this information.

OR: But this is ridiculous. The rest of the world knows that the earth is round. How do you expect us to think the president has any credibility on this issue?
SM: We’ve sent Admiral Columbus and his fleet to confirm our convictions.
OR: This sounds very expensive and dangerous. What about the mission to Mars?
SM: We are scrapping that in favor of a mission to land on the sun.

OR: The sun? Doesn’t the administration know anything about physics? No one could survive the heat, and...
SM: We know about that, and the president has read his one-page executive overview. We’ll land at night.
OR: ...but that’s just an old joke and…

SM: That concludes this conference. I will have more important
announcements tomorrow.

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