Where is John Ashcroft When We Need Him?

Code RED, be very afraid!
Code RED, be very afraid!
Code RED, be very afraid!
Code RED, be very afraid!
Code RED, be very afraid!
Code RED, be very afraid!
Code RED, be very afraid!
Code RED, be very afraid!
Code RED, be very afraid!
Code RED, be very afraid!

Code GREEN, you have nothing to worry about...